-Drew
Living with social anxiety is tough. Along with the usual feeling of anxiety, insecurity, and despair, there is a constant feeling that something is wrong - something that needs to be fixed. For me, this feeling was always present. I felt as though I needed to be cured, but could not find the right method - not that there was a shortage of companies that would sell me a quick fix. (more…)
Is social anxiety disorder a chemical imbalance? Is it genetic? Is it environmental? Is it a combination of the two? I dont know, and whats more, I doubt if the experts know either. (more…)
One of the biggest challenges Ive had to face is accepting who I am. Ive come to realize that there are many attributes I will never have. Im not really remarkable in any way. I have average looks, intelligence, and no exceptional talents.
I spent so many years hating everything about myself and envying others that seemed to be better looking, more likeable, more confident, etc, etc. I was never satisfied with who I was. I always considered myself sub-standard in all areas.
In fact, I have even caught myself trying to mimic certain attributes from those I admired. This failed miserably because, try as I might, I was still me, and that wasnt going to change. (more…)
Two years ago, I decided that I would make an effort to save myself, and to go and get help. At that time, I was living back at home with my parents and really had nothing going for me at all. I had no job. I had no friends. I had no girlfriend. I felt some mysterious force steering me towards failure. The world seemed cruel and unforgiving. (more…)
I spent most of my life feeling sorry for myself. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I had no idea what it was. I could not enjoy life the way others seemed to. Activities that were meant to be enjoyable were, instead, frightening and awkward. While others looked forward to a game of softball or a school field trip, I dreaded the upcoming event and obsessed about it weeks in advance. (more…)
I hate making mistakes. Its probably part of my perfectionist personality to fear failure. In fact, up until about two years ago, I avoided any activities that had a chance of failure. I liked it safe and predictable. I avoided all social interactions that did not have a chance of a favorable outcome. I avoided ALL social interactions, in other words. (more…)
I have a hard time relating to people. Its not that I intentionally want to be seen as quiet and weird, it just turns out that way. Its not that I hate people, its just that I find it difficult to connect with others. Most of the time people make me very uncomfortable and, try as I might, there always seems to be this negative energy that makes me feel stupid, useless and inferior. I simply dont have the confidence to make any sort of presence in a social situation. Ironically, this negative self-programming is a self-fulfilling prophecy in a way, since I will eventually display physical signs of the worthless loser I keep telling myself I am. (more…)
One thing Ive learned is that you can waste a good portion of your life feeling bad about yourself. Feeling that somehow, you dont measure up and that the rest of the world belongs to some sort of elite club for which you will never have a membership. I spent many years beating myself up over things that where out of my control. (more…)
