My task seemed insurmountable. Why couldnt I just accept myself as I was, and continue on with life? Well, because life had backed me into a corner and was waiting for me to make the next move. Yeah, I could have carried on as things were, but it wouldnt have been much of an existence. With no job, no friends, and depression becoming more entrenched with each passing day, I really had little to lose.
I broke things down to the basics. My initial urge was to start making a list of things that I wanted out of life – a good job, romance, friends, a social circle, confidence in public, good conversational skills, and maybe a little respect.
I quickly realized that I could not have those things unless I went below the surface and addressed the root causes and solutions. Using my building metaphor, I needed to start building the foundation. Once I had that, I could start working on the good stuff.
The next step was trying to figure out what needed to be done to start on a good solid footing. Each time I thought I had a good place to start, I was able to, further, strip it down into smaller pieces.
Eventually, I decided to start with building my self-esteem, confidence, or whatever you want to call it. This seemed to be a good candidate for at least one part of my foundation. Without this, I found that little could be done to move forward.
Ok, so I finally had something tangible. I began working on the first block in my foundation. However, I was quick to discover that it was a little more than a single block – more like an entire section.