Before I could think about tackling my social anxiety problem, I had to break the incredibly monotonous routine I had adopted. First of all, I had to get out of the house. As humorous as this may sound, my first order of business was to simply get outside.
After suffering what can only be described as crushing depression and anxiety (the worst I have ever experienced), I started to see a very small improvement as each day went by. There was a small flicker of hope and optimism after nearly two months of blackness. I was still far from normal, but at least [...]
In the past, my main goal had been to find a social anxiety cure – something that would transform me into a non-shy, outgoing, and likeable person. Somewhere, there was a cure for my ailment - a treatment that I had not stumbled across yet - a breakthrough procedure or medication that would eventually surface [...]
There is one personality trait that I’ve been fighting my entire life. I believe that this “attitude,” alone, has cost me dearly in terms of social interaction and getting the most out of life. I’ll try to describe it as accurately as possible; however it’s hard to put into exact words.
This behavior comes and goes, [...]
As depression became more entrenched in my daily life, I thought that I had nothing. I was completely alone and I had nothing. It’s funny how things can be clouded in this type of situation. For example, if I had stepped back for a second, I would have realized
Shortly after leaving my job in the city, I moved back to my parents’ house. They live in a small town about an hour from the city limits. I grew up there, and it was definitely weird going back. I had only ever visited on the odd weekend since I left home years ago.
It [...]
In 2002 I had reached the end of my rope. Extreme anxiety became an all too familiar part of my day. I had gone as far as I could in my company. Faking my way as far as I could - and even my finely tuned avoidance techniques were no longer effective. I didn’t belong [...]
Peeling back the layers and starting from the lowest common denominator is something that I have been hammering away at for many of my previous posts. I apologize for the repetitiveness, but I want to convey the importance of this, and also be as detailed as I possibly can.
I have come a long way in the past few years. In fact, I can honestly say that I’ve become a different person entirely – which is good, because I hated the person I used to be. My only regret is that it took so long to finally start moving in the right direction. I’ve [...]
For many years I felt as though I was simply destined for failure. I mean failure in everything, not just socially, but in every aspect of life, love, and success. Try as I might, I could not shake the feeling that there was some mysterious force steering me towards that ultimate outcome.