Back to 2002

Peeling back the layers and starting from the lowest common denominator is something that I have been hammering away at for many of my previous posts. I apologize for the repetitiveness, but I want to convey the importance of this, and also be as detailed as I possibly can.

I’m going to start writing about how I conquered social anxiety (the exact techniques I used) and how much my life has changed as result. I never thought I would be living as I do now – free of unreasonable feelings of fear and anxiety. It’s a huge weight that has been lifted. I no longer feel crushed by the constant feelings of worry and depression that were, so much, a part of my life.

I just want to make one important point - you can’t rush things like this. There is no quick solution – and while I wish I could sum up the entire experience on one page, I know that it’s just wishful thinking, and that it’s going to take a long time to write about, in a proper manner.

If you were to ask me if it was worth it, I would have to say, absolutely. I now have the confidence to mingle with others, forge new friendships, and deal with the pitfalls of social interaction. I trust myself enough to “get out there” and accomplish things – things I would not have dreamed of, years ago.

Sticking to “the plan,” my life slowly evolved into something I previously thought was out of reach – in fact, I always considered a normal life out of reach. I never thought I would be talking about how I beat this lifelong illness.

In order to write about my experience, I’m going to start at ground zero. I’ll begin at, what I consider to be, my lowest point.

It was 2002 and I was living at home again - depressed, suicidal, and spent. At 32 years old, I had no job, no friends, and no social life – nothing. Stuck in the house with this crippling anxiety, there was little to look forward to…

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