"If you are going to buy only one book on social anxiety, this is it. This book that not only compassionately presents various perspectives on social anxiety, but it also offers a vast array of solutions. It turned out to be more of a "self help" book than I expected in more areas than just shyness. The author had experience in social anxiety, so he really hit home with things he expressed. I was able to finally overcome my social anxiety thanks to this book!"
-Drew
Although many more steps were needed to complete difficult tasks and achieve goals, I didnt mind. It wasnt like extra work - actually, it was more enjoyable. I still had the tendency to demand perfection from myself, but I continued following the schedule I wanted, not what I felt I had to do. (more…)
Taking the so called under achievers route worked pretty well for me - I was getting more done in a day and I felt, generally, happier. Once I was able to get over my perfectionist attitude and allow certain things to go unfinished, I was good.
I was functioning in a world of grey. A world where there was no black or white - no right or wrong - no empty or full. Very little was completed, but a lot was accomplished. This was the world of the productive slacker. (more…)
To give you an idea of how the divide-by-two rule worked for me, Ill use an example of something I dread every year: Taxes.
Sitting down and filling out my yearly tax forms is painful - Im sure many can relate to this. In fact, its the one thing that is sure to get put on the back-burner for as long as possible. Each year is the same: procrastinate until the end of April, and then pull an all-nighter to try and beat the deadline. (more…)
The divide-by-two rule is not something new in the area of self-improvement - so the concept may be recognized under different names. This technique is something that Ive worked on and customized to help with my own situation. The name is just something that came to me at the time. (more…)
As I mentioned in the previous post, lack of motivation is not confined to one personality type. Im sure that most of us (shy or outgoing) have had to deal with motivational challenges at some point in our lives. The reason I decided to tackle this first, was that it would prevent me from implementing any plans that I made to overcome SA. (more…)
Lack of motivation, procrastination, and maybe a little downright laziness, were certainly not qualities that I could be proud of. The first order of business in my quest to turn my life around was to take stock. I put everything down on paper - both positive and negative - the negative far outweighing the positive. (more…)
Money became tight and I came to the realization that I couldnt afford to keep seeing my psychologist - I started to feel a little sorry for myself. Here was the help I had been looking for, but circumstances wouldnt allow it to continue. There was that unseen force again - working hard to ensure my failure - at least thats how it felt at the time. (more…)
Social anxiety disorder has contributed towards a lifetime of pain and suffering. There is the obvious anxiety, fear, low self-esteem and depression that I have had to deal with all my life, but it has also taken a toll in a slightly less obvious way.
Up until now, this condition was left to run unchecked. It delayed, and in some cases, prevented many normal events from taking place in my life. I feel that I have either missed out completely, or started way too late in most cases. In fact, Its as though Im just getting started. Whoever coined the phrase, better late than never certainly was the eternal optimist - I, on the other hand, tend to be a little more realistic. (more…)
Social anxiety wasnt a 24/7 problem - that would have been way too much to handle. It would turn on and off depending upon the situation. For example: it was pretty much non-existent when I was at home and around my parents or brothers. (more…)
The time spent with my psychologist and the group was worth its weight in gold. Even though I already knew much about the techniques used, it was great to be able to talk freely with others about our problems. They made me feel like part of a family.
The cognitive therapy sessions were quite good. In fact, the big difference was in doing, rather than just reading. Having a trained professional present made all the difference. (more…)
