Meeting an old friend

I am ashamed to admit that a few years ago I thought about packing it in – I mean permanently. I felt trapped and it seemed that there was never going to be anything in my life other than pain and suffering.

It didn’t matter what others said to try and cheer me up – I was in such a state that their advice just went in one ear, and out the other. I was in such a deep, dark place that I felt I was beyond any sort of help at all. It scares me to bring up the past like this – knowing how close I was to losing everything.

I was saved only by thoughts of a meeting that had taken place years previously – and a discussion between two old high school friends.

I was just out of school, I had started a new job, and things were going bad – I mean, really bad. The stress was intense, and I was making a lot of mistakes. I felt this overwhelming anxiety everyday, and there seemed to be no letup in sight. I felt as though there would never be anything good or positive again. I was heading towards major depression.

One weekend, while visiting back home, I ran into a friend from high school. I always thought that we had a lot in common, perhaps even social anxiety. He always made a lot of sense, and had a mature, knowledgeable quality about him. After a few beers on a patio, we got talking about things and I found myself spilling my guts to this “stranger” I had not seen since the twelfth grade.

I touched on many things in my life – including my social anxiety. I just started going on and didn’t stop. It was very unusual for me to talk for a few minutes, let alone 20. I mentioned social anxiety only because I always suspected that he suffered from it also. I was a little embarrassed when he didn’t reply with a, “Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean - Wow, you too?”

After my, somewhat, one-side conversation, I expected that he would either start laughing, or start making excuses to leave - He did neither. Instead, he started talking about a coping technique that he used to get through very difficult times. It was based on cycles…

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