Expanding my boundaries

I woke up the next morning determined to make a difference. Realizing how much of my life had been wasted (especially the last year), I felt a sense of urgency to try to get things sorted. I was hitting my mid thirties, time was running out, and I could not allow social anxiety disorder to steal any more of my life.

It was going to be a great day – I just felt it. Things were going to be different – I don’t know how I knew that, but for the first time in my life, I felt a sense of hope.

Now, I did have a long-term goal, however, it would be the short-term goals that would make the biggest difference. Starting immediately, I would operate only within the boundaries I had set for myself at this level of social involvement. This first “incubation” stage would be ultra-simplistic.

This was the crawling stage were I would experiment a little and fall down a lot – but since I was so close to the ground, the risk of personal injury would be low. With each fall, I would get up and try again, feeling stronger and more confident each time – or so I hoped.

For example: I was living at home with my parents. The only social contact I had was with them and with my brothers when they came to visit. I was already comfortable with this situation and I felt as though I had mastered everything at this stage. Now, in order to make any progress, I would have to expand those boundaries and create a social environment that was one step above that comfort zone – I called this the incubation level.

The first step was the most difficult. I needed to expand my boundaries, or no progress would be made – this was blatantly obvious. I had to move from the bedroom in my parents’ house, to the next social level – which was, in this case, right outside the front door.

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