The incubation stage
The incubation stage was very low-key. There was very little pressure here, so it was actually enjoyable in many ways. In fact, the reason this level even existed, was so that I could let loose, mix it up, experiment, fall down, and then do it all over – All this in a very safe environment.
Nothing was taken seriously, therefore nothing counted. It was simply a way to get my feet wet. And, yes, I really did have to get my feet wet. At 33 I was still very inexperienced in many social aspects.
I had a pre-programmed reaction to every social encounter and that was it. I walked with my head down, I spoke only to people I knew, I didn’t’ ask questions, I spent all my time worried about how the world perceived me, I spoke softly, and was always worried that I left a negative impression on people. If I passed someone on the street, I would always look away. I could not make eye contact with anyone except my immediate family…and so on.
Breaking my everyday routine and the auto-responses that had “looked after me” all those years would be tough. There would be resistance, but I was prepared to deal with it. I was determined to follow this through.
My incubation stage was simplicity. I drew up a list of things I would allow and those that I would not. If something was deemed to be above the level I was at, I would do my best to avoid said situation. Further, I drew a rough sketch of what my incubation level would look like. Had it been a room, it would have been painted white with only a table, chair and bed. That was the world I needed to master if I ever hoped to move on to the higher levels.
Before attempting any exercise at this level, I had to be sure that I had mastered the level I was currently in (the pre-incubation stage if you will). This was easy because it only consisted of interacting with my parents and brothers. Had I mastered it, and was I completely comfortable? Yes, and yes – I was ready to move on.
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