I needed to get back to my original plan, which was the incubation stage. I had gotten side-tracked in the past few months, dealing with my appearance. It was time to revisit the slow, tedious task of controlled social interaction, self-awareness, and a gradual shift in my thinking patterns. It was time to get back [...]
There was no magic formula for overcoming social anxiety. That was the stark reality, and thinking any differently was just wishful. It was easy to imagine gradual social interaction leading to gradual belief reprogramming leading to increased social confidence, and so on, but the reality was that I was up against the very core of [...]
The Saturday barbeque wasn’t entirely stress-free. Although I managed to kick my appearance up a notch, the anxiety was almost overwhelming. Nothing had changed inside and it took every last once of willpower to hold things together. The negative self-talk was as strong as ever. I suppose I should have been proud of the way [...]
The Saturday get-together was no different than any other. There were 16 people in total – my parents, brothers, spouses, and their kids. I was comfortable with everyone except my brother’s wife. She was very assertive and aggressive, and seemed to take pleasure in the fact that I didn’t say much. It was a given [...]
A month earlier, I had attempted socializing with the local townspeople – with less than favorable results – I now know why. It was my appearance and the fact that I had not made a change in myself first. It was the same approach I had been using my entire life. Even though I was [...]
If social anxiety disorder could have been conquered by gradually increasing exposures, implementing coping techniques, and building on previous experiences, then I believe I would have overcome my condition much sooner. I would have simply followed the directions, and presto – a new me.
Enough was enough. I had come to the point where anything would have been better than where I was. I hated being scared and, to tell the truth, it was exhausting. I hated myself for not being able to walk out the front door and use my new skills. I spent a lot of time [...]
Confident that I could present myself in a more pleasant manner, I started my social experiments in the incubation stage once more. I felt extremely nervous and anxious – I wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was the knowledge of having something real to bring to the table. I now had a workable approach and stood [...]
Using the digital camera, and trial and error, I was able to make some significant progress in improving my appearance. I spent countless hours trying this and that – deleting everything, and then starting over - This method eventually allowed me to fine-tune my image and link this to my subconscious – where I could [...]
If a smile is a reflection of one’s mood, how does one cope with social interaction when feeling down and depressed – when the last thing you want to do is smile? Ahh…there lies the problem. I figured if I could find a way around that, I would be well on my way towards mingling [...]