Something to smile about
Why did my smile look so unnatural? Initially, I thought it might have been my warped self-perception kicking in, but after careful scrutiny, I came to the conclusion that my “friendly look” was, in fact, very scary looking - and that was the harsh reality. It was unnatural because it was not genuine. I didn’t feel like smiling so it came off as completely fake. Others would have noticed this artificial smirk and I would have been dismissed as just some sort of weirdo.
Even though I had invested a considerable amount of time watching others, I still could not get it. I made a huge effort to try and get the right look down, but to no avail. I paid close attention to people on the street, people on TV, and even at social gatherings. Everyone looked so natural, happy, and carefree. No one looked strange at all. How could this be?
Fortunately, the answer came to me eventually: A smile is a reflection of a person’s mood at that point in time - Impossible to fake, because others will pick up on it instantly. Now, I’m sure that there are some that are very good at turning on a convincing smile in any situation (actors, for example), but for an average person, it’s got to be real.
Standing in front of the mirror, I looked like I belonged on another planet. I was in a bad mood, depressed, and felt like the biggest loser in the world. Is it any wonder my smile looked the way it did? I needed to attack this from another angle.
The mirror exercises were not totally worthless. Although I felt completely stupid, it at least forced me to look at myself – for better or worse. In fact, I thought I would keep them up as long as I could find the missing piece of the puzzle – a way to reproduce a real, down-to-earth, smile.
Unexpectedly, the answer came to me one morning as I practiced my look in the mirror. I had the radio tuned to the Howard Stern show – at that time, you could still get him in Canada – and they were doing a skit that was outrageously funny. As I looked in the mirror I began to see the smile that had eluded me all this time. It was different – more “real” than anything I had managed to produce thus far. It looked great – very natural and attractive.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing – that was me! I would have gladly showed off that smile in any social situation. My first thoughts were, “remember this moment, because now you know it’s possible.”
It lasted for less than 30 seconds, and, try as I might, I could not get it back, nor duplicate it again. However, from that moment on, I felt a new hope – something I had not felt in a very, very long time.
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