How to Conquer Social Anxiety

While browsing through You-Tube looking for social anxiety type videos (many of the personal video blogs are quite interesting), I came across a clip of, what appears to be a guy with SA, being put on the spot by David Letterman.

Now, one could automatically assume that this individual had social anxiety disorder because of how nervous he looked, the fact that he didnt smile, and how he turned down Daves offer to play some audience participation game. However, after thinking about it for a bit, Im not so sure that we can assume he had SA. (more…)

One of my favorite blogs has started posting again!

If you havent been to Sarahs blog, I would highly recommend it. Very well-written and thought provoking.

Finding the confidence

There are numerous techniques, tips, tricks, and methods that I have tried throughout my life to deal with my social anxiety. Everything from professional therapy, to mail-order miracle cures. I have also developed a few coping techniques of my own through years of trial and error.

The conclusion Ive drawn, after implementing many of these coping mechanisms, is that the slow, steady, calculated, day-by-day methods actually work best. Ive given up on trying to find the quick and easy miracle cure (the holy grail of SA cures) - call it maturity. Setting realistic expectations does not mean that you have to simply accept your lot in life - its just that you have to work hard, acknowledge any amount of improvement, have patience, and move forward. (more…)

The confrontation at the pub was a one-off - a childish, schoolyard-bully, one-off - very rare in an adult society. Normal, civilized people do not behave in that manner - trust me. However, we do live in a very diverse and unpredictable world, and you never know whats around the corner. (more…)

Anyway, sorry about the long, drawn out story, but I thought I would use it as an example of how unpredictable people can be. Just when you think you have things figured out, youre making progress, and you feel some sense of normality and hope, something like that comes along and just blows you out of the water. (more…)

I was on the verge of making a smart-assed comment - you know - just to redeem myself, but I decided against that. Not that I didnt feel like saying anything, I just wanted to be able to walk out of the place without getting ambushed in the parking lot. I could also see the fear in Marks face as he stared at me, wondering what I would do next. (more…)

The stare method works on the premise that all, or most of, the negative feedback in a social situation is false - In other words, created by ones sub-conscious. It does not work well for situations in which the feedback is real.

Step one in the stare method involves turning off the negative thoughts. Its not the same as shutting out real input from a real source. This was a hard lesson learned. (more…)

The world isnt always predictable, and the people in it can be even less so.

Let me tell you about a situation in which the stare method did not work. In fact, it caused serious problems and almost got me beat up. This is a good example of why you need to evaluate each situation individually. (more…)

I started by blocking out the situation in front of me and concentrating on one of my distractions. In this case, I was thinking about an upcoming trip I was going to take. This proved to be strong enough to interrupt the social anxiety auto-thoughts (although it wasnt easy). It was almost enough to put a smile on my face.

Next, I forced myself to lift my head, without looking directly at the people across from me. In this case, I just looked past them to the adverts above their heads. I imagine that the entire movement probably looked very mechanical and forced. (more…)

Public transit has always been a real challenge for me. Well, actually, any crowded public place was a challenge, but buses and trains always sent my anxiety through the roof.

I didnt mind transit vehicles that had all the seats facing forward, but that was rarely the case. Most buses and subways are designed with space requirements in mind and, as a result, many of the seats are facing each other - my worst nightmare. (more…)