I swear, it felt like self-esteem!
There are numerous techniques, tips, tricks, and methods that I have tried throughout my life to deal with my social anxiety. Everything from professional therapy, to mail-order “miracle” cures. I have also developed a few coping techniques of my own through years of trial and error.
The conclusion I’ve drawn, after implementing many of these coping mechanisms, is that the slow, steady, calculated, day-by-day methods actually work best. I’ve given up on trying to find the quick and easy miracle cure (the holy grail of SA cures) – call it maturity. Setting realistic expectations does not mean that you have to simply accept your lot in life – it’s just that you have to work hard, acknowledge any amount of improvement, have patience, and move forward.
This is what works for me, but it’s a long, steady, uphill climb.
Is it worth it? Well, for me, I would say yes. Even though it’s taken an incredibly long time, I can see a faint light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. I am noticing my confidence improve with each passing month. Eventually, I will be able to deal with life’s challenges by relying on my confidence and self-esteem only. The need for “artificial” coping techniques, such as the stare method, will diminish as my natural ability to deal with social situations shines through.
I can actually see this happening already in a very limited capacity. Negative social situations no longer leave me shattered. Sure, I might be in a foul mood for a few hours, but there is none of the crippling depression that used to linger in the aftermath. In other words, I’m not out of commission for a week. I can thank my increased self-esteem and a re-programmed belief system for that.
Now, I just didn’t wake up one day and say, “Yeah, I feel like a new man.” The change is so gradual and slight that I had to second guess myself on several occasions. I use the knowledge from my therapy sessions. I set social experiments for myself. I implement techniques like the stare method. But most importantly, I am focused and work very hard at this, day in and day out.
Action and hard work got me to this point.
My goal has always been to re-program my belief system, gain more self-esteem, and use this newly found confidence to deal with social situations. Yes, I did use a few artificial techniques to get going (stare), but once I was able to interrupt the social anxiety cycle, I knew I was on my way. For the first time in my life, I am experiencing true self-esteem and I’m ecstatic.
Over the years, I used a few other methods to deal with society (in addition to stare). Together they helped me over the hump, so to speak. I’ll talk about the others in upcoming posts.
One Response to “I swear, it felt like self-esteem!”
Have you ever felt more comfortaable with a crowd of complete strangers? It is most stressing for me when there are people I’ve known for a long time. This is because I am very much concerned about how they feel about me. I cannot avoid the feeling that they will end up avoiding me so I end up avoiding them. That is nonsense, I know. What is more depressing is the fact that I like most of them, having a chat with them but because of the fear of loosing their interest in me and taking my unavoidable manners for my subconscious, I miss many coincidences to take place. I even find it hard to focus on the reason when I go to a place because of the anxiety. That reason might be a screening of a video hard to find. Video and film are ways to keep me distracted from myself. So that I can focus on other things and relations of thoughts and things, so that I can really think on how to participate in making a better life. Not just be a creature that is considering just herself.
Leave a Reply