Archive for December, 2006

Social anxiety disorder still runs the show

Well, another year is almost over and, looking back, I feel as though my progress has been slow and a “cure” for this horrible condition as elusive as ever. The social aspect of the holiday season only serves to confirm this feeling.

My self-worth is not determined by others

For the past year or so, I’ve been trying to make a conscience effort to be 100 percent genuine. Rather than allowing society to dictate the person I should be, I’m following my instincts and determining the person I want to be, entirely on my own, without any outside influence.
One point of clarification: Society does [...]

I’m back

After a major problem with my previous web host, I’m back.
Since Dec 21, this site has been very unstable as I’m sure many have noticed. The problems were so severe that I had to transfer everything to another provider using my own backups.
After several stressful days, things are back to normal and the [...]

The nice-guy syndrome

Shy, quiet, nice guy, are among the most popular terms that people use to describe me – at least, people whom I know fairly well. The shy-and-quiet description is a given. That’s just who I am, and it’s not likely to change significantly in the near future.
The nice-guy label is not accurate, however. [...]

Social anxiety disorder - selling out

Because of my social anxiety disorder, I have an awful habit of selling out to people. In most social situations, I will almost certainly take a back seat to others. It’s not that I’m being gracious or anything; I do it because I don’t want to upset people. I do it because I want to [...]

Social anxiety and obsessive thinking – using up precious resources

Let’s face it: Human beings have limitations, both physically and mentally. Regardless of who we are and how talented we might be, we all have finite resources in which to handle everything that life throws at us. When a good portion of my thoughts are squandered on something as powerful, yet meaningless, as the social [...]

Over-analyzing things - again

The Santa experience was traumatic. 5 years ago, social anxiety ruled my life and, as a result, that incident weighed heavily on my mind for weeks. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a fool I had made of myself. I kept repeating the entire evening in my mind, analyzing every last detail and [...]

Really playing the part

There is nothing in this world that scares me more than having to make a speech or perform in public.
Standing there in that Santa suit, I felt as though I were teetering on the edge of a great abyss – nowhere to run – nowhere to hide – only one way out. I hated [...]

The socially anxious Santa Claus

Volunteering to be Santa, and actually going through with it, were two different things. Although I was as nervous as hell when I agreed to fill in, it was nothing compared to the feeling I had as I slowly donned the old Santa suit. This was real now, and I was committed. Feelings of panic [...]