In a foul mood? Avoid social encounters and get to work

Have you ever had days where you feel completely uninspired? When even the simplest of tasks seems overwhelming, and any effort to make a difference and accomplish something (anything) is lost in a sea of indifference, mediocrity, and hopelessness.

I would venture to guess that just about everyone (SA or not) gets a little down in the dumps every now and then. However, I always felt that because of my social anxiety, I suffered through more of these episodes than the average person. I suppose it’s the sensitivity aspect of SA and the fact that I feel I have had more negative experiences than the average person.

For months at a time, I would drag myself through each day going through the motions, but not caring one way or the other. Many mornings it would be all I could do just to lift my head from the pillow and get ready for work. Yes, it’s possible that I could have been suffering from classic depression, though I was never diagnosed with it.

The one positive about being in that funk was that it was temporary. How did I know? Well, experience for one. It would creep into my life every so often without warning and then leave just as suddenly. It was a cycle that repeated itself as regular as clockwork. It was as predictable as anything in my life.

While social anxiety undoubtedly contributed more than its share to these bouts of depression, I’m sure other factors were at work here - an accumulation of several events over time.

Every negative experience over the course of months, or even years, seemed to have an accumulative effect and eventually triggered a bout of depression. Personal confrontations, rejection, exclusion, personal and career failures, social embarrassment, all contributed a little over time, eventually triggering this depressed state of mind.

I’ve come to realize that this “mood” is self-defeating and only serves to undo all the progress I’ve made. However, it does seem as though I have no choice but to suffer through these temporary setbacks – they are inevitable. Having said that, I’ve made some real progress in dealing with social anxiety lately, and hence, the episodes seem to be a little shorter and more manageable.

I’ve come to the realization that part of being human is the inability to maintain the same state of mind forever. As with most things, a person’s mood and outlook cycles from lofty highs to depressing lows. Additionally, having social anxiety does not make me special or exclusive in any way – we all go through it.

So how do I handle things these days? Well, I have become more self-aware and tolerant during such trying times. I accept these moods as being a part of my human nature and try to deal with things as best I can. Often, that involves avoiding any major social interaction and using my time more constructively. Since I know I’m in no condition to mingle, I use that time to accomplish tasks I’ve been putting off. Quite often, I feel good about getting some real work done, even if it does nothing to help my social anxiety.

The alternative would be to expose myself to others while I’m in one of my moods – this has never had a positive outcome and has often made things worse. People pick up on the negativity and the chances for a positive social encounter are non-existent.

So, instead of sitting at home and feeling sorry for myself, I’ll hunker down and get some necessary work done.

Whether it is doing yard work for my parents, painting my apartment, studying, doing my taxes, or writing that long overdue article, I am at least accomplishing something while taking my mind off more depressing topics.

Yes, it takes some effort because I have a tendency to sit around feeling sorry for myself. However, once I start a project and get into it, that feeling fades and my mind busies itself with the task at hand.

It’s all about knowing yourself well enough to know how to use your time most efficiently.

Once the “mood” is over, I feel revitalized and ready to make more social progress.

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