Social anxiety disorder loses its grip - a little
Social anxiety disorder has been a problem for me since early childhood, but it’s only recently that I’ve discovered it is the result of bad programming and bad habits. I apologize to anyone that thinks I’m over-simplifying matters. As always, I’m relating my discussion to my own personal experiences.
I’ll talk about bad programming first.
It’s obvious to me that I have certain beliefs about who I am as a person and how the outside world functions. Most of those beliefs are self-destructive and damaging. Not only are they counter-productive, they are false and misleading.
This bad programming is deeply entrenched, and it has taken a lifetime to develop. It’s at the root of my social anxiety problem – I’m sure of that.
Habits are closely related to beliefs. If I believe that I am unworthy of friendship and that I am a social outcast, then I will develop habits around those beliefs.
My own habits included things like, avoiding people, staying in the house, staring at the ground in public, assuming a passive role in conversation, analyzing every word I said, having the “don’t speak until spoken to” mentality, and always backing into my own thoughts instead of interacting with the world.
The human brain likes habits. Once something is on auto pilot, it frees up resources to use elsewhere – or maybe, deep down, our brain prefers the easy route.
I guess what I’m saying is that people can live their entire lives being guided by a brain that may not have their best interests at heart. I spent 30 plus years following my instincts and habits – never questioning whether or not they were right. I was following an inner voice that constantly told me I was strange, ugly, different, and disliked by all. I listened to this voice tell me that I would never live a normal life.
Is it possible to re-program your beliefs into something a little more realistic? Absolutely, but, it takes a massive amount of determination and effort to see even the slightest change. I can’t emphasize that enough.
But it is doable – It is possible. I have experienced the results first hand.
The company Christmas party was the absolute proof I needed that things are getting better. I felt a new sense of strength, as I sensed that my old social anxiety thoughts were in trouble. Yes, social anxiety disorder took control in the beginning (as usual – nothing new), but this is the first time I’ve ever been able to recover from an episode like that.
The confidence I gained from that one experience is entirely foreign to me. I’m still trying to process it. One thing is certain though: I definitely feel as though my ability to deal with this condition is improving.
3 Responses to “Social anxiety disorder loses its grip - a little”
Thank you for your precious thoughts. I am also on recovery from my SAD after suffering for 12 years. Now I am a psychologist-to-be. Very glad to find a breakthough
Hi,
I was wondering if you have found any good books or self help books for social anxiety disorder?
For SA sufferers, perfectionism is the devil…
If you aim for it, 100% chances say you will not live up to the standards, and it will show on your face - then you over-analyze and think what you *should have done/said*, and you get depressed, you lose all confidence for upcoming interactions and it ruins your social event entirely… at least for me it did :\
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