Beating social anxiety is my number one goal. Failure is simply not an option at this point. Ive put too much time and effort into it. I refuse to let this slide like every other endeavour Ive attempted in the past – and Im not just talking about social anxiety.
So whats changed? Well, to be honest, Im completely fed up with giving in to defeat. I cant begin to tell you about all the projects Ive started, the businesses I intended to start (some, I actually did get off the ground), the courses I signed up for, and the promises Ive made to work on my shyness and self-improvement in general.
It all comes down to the fact that I am not a highly motivated person – I burnout quickly. I start things with the greatest intent, and then abandon them after I lose interest, or become distracted by other events in my life.
Every day is a struggle because its as if my body and brain just want to revert back to the way things were. Although I was completely miserable, things were predictable. In a way, I was pretty comfortable in that rut.
Things are not as predictable now. Most of my social exposures are terrifying. There is always anticipatory anxiety because I am constantly venturing into uncharted territory. Giving up would instantly alleviate those symptoms – but at what cost?
On the positive side, I can see real improvement for once in my life. Nothing will motivate more than seeing results – nothing.
I suppose at this point in my life, I cant take another failure. So, I need to constantly remind myself of the importance of what Im doing. My future success and happiness depends on it. I cant see anything good happening unless I get this condition under control – so I trudge on, hoping things will start improving – hoping to catch some momentum.
If there is one bit of advice I can give, its that nothing worthwhile in life is easy. Yes, I know we hear that every day, but truer words have never been spoken. If you want to succeed in whatever it is you have set your sites on, be prepared to work hard for it. Be prepared to be knocked down, only to dust yourself off and get knocked down again. Be prepared for disappointment and frustration, because it will test you every step of the way. Real success is 5% luck, 5% skill, and 90% tenacity.
Eventually success will present itself; however, you need to be there to receive it.