Defeating social anxiety a little at a time - 6 years later
In 2002, (as social anxiety tightened its grip on every aspect of my life) I quit my high paying, corporate job out of desperation. It wasn’t a decision that I made lightly – after all, this was my career and my livelihood. I was employed by that company for 4 years. Once the deed was done, I felt completely lost – as though I’d just made the biggest mistake of my life. Yet, deep down, I somehow knew that the decision was the right one.
It’s been almost 6 years since I left, (hard to imagine) and I can’t help but look back at the person I was back then - compared to who I have become today. I still have social anxiety disorder, but I am much more functional and at ease around people. This is mainly down to the effort I have put in over the last few years.
Keep in mind that I did not spend 6 years productively and systematically working towards defeating social anxiety. I would say that I’ve really only been at this for 3 years - max. The 3 years prior to that were spent going around in circles – not knowing what to do, or where to start. I wasted a lot of time mired in depression, anxiety, and mediocrity. I didn’t make an effort and didn’t care what happened to me. I was overwhelmed.
It, basically, has taken me 3 years to end up where I am now. I was hoping that by this time, I would be a different person – one who could hold a good job, walk with confidence, and have enough self-esteem to be able to handle anything that life throws my way. Though I have made significant progress, I still feel suffocated by social anxiety disorder.
I suppose that in the worst case, I’ll fall victim to the law of diminishing returns - where the amount of effort needed to move to the next level increases exponentially.
Deep down, I don’t feel that this is the case though. I truly feel as though I am on a roll and have struggled with the most difficult part. The most important thing I can do right now is ensure that I continue to take small steps forward, learn from my mistakes, and value my progress.
As I continue to struggle with this condition, I feel completely on my own. Although I have friends and family, there is little they can do to help. I suppose that people just don’t understand unless they are fellow sufferers.
Being alone, I have no one to bounce ideas off of, get constructive feedback from, or lend a sympathetic ear. Perhaps it’s time to connect with other SA sufferers in the real world. It would be nice to just have a few friends I could talk to about this.
2 Responses to “Defeating social anxiety a little at a time - 6 years later”
Your’e not alone. I hope we both progress in society. Its not easy living in a world with such arrogant and forward people. I choose to stay at home and hide, at least you have the courage to do things. I suppose because your older, you have more motivation now. Keep up the blog, it inspires people like me, thankyou.
Hi Drew,
For some reason I think that’s your name, but if not, sorry. So regarding self-help groups. I have participated in two for relatively short periods this last year or so. I found them helpful in that you see that you are not alone. From one of them I made a friend that I now see socially, also. The downside I found is that sometimes it is more about sharing and venting, but not so much about taking action and moving forward. However, sometimes I heard new coping strategies. Of course people are at different stages in dealing with social anxiety - some are just discovering how it is handicapping them and that’s what they then talk about. So it makes sense I suppose.
YMMV. By all means check out some support groups for SA. Finding that one friend at least is worth it. And also, I found it good practice for speaking in a group.
I think you are making awesome progress from what you say btw. Cheers!
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