Comments on: Social Anxiety, Dating, And The Bar Scene http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/ Social Anxiety Disorder And Everyday Life Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:28:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Andy http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18835 Andy Thu, 22 May 2008 17:02:55 +0000 http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18835 I used to feel very much the same way, but the truth is you can overcome your social anxieties. I've read quite a few of your articles, and while you had some really good things to say, I can see where you might be having some problem. You tend to have many self-limiting beliefs.. For instance, here are a few just from this post: "Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s effective if you have the right personality and approach it in a positive way." "Unfortunately, unless you have something going for you (looks, confidence, winning personality), there’s not much chance that you’ll meet anyone." "And that’s assuming that you talk to anyone at all. It’s hardly the kind of place where a very average looking guy can have women approach him." The most important thing in conquering your anxiety is that you have to really want to and you must be willing to accept your faults. I have alot of information posted on my blog, http://sociallydistressed.blogspot.com that I think you might find usefull. Also, If you have any questions, or if there's anything you want to know more about, feel free to contact me. I'd love to share and help out. I used to feel very much the same way, but the truth is you can overcome your social anxieties. I’ve read quite a few of your articles, and while you had some really good things to say, I can see where you might be having some problem. You tend to have many self-limiting beliefs..

For instance, here are a few just from this post:

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s effective if you have the right personality and approach it in a positive way.”

“Unfortunately, unless you have something going for you (looks, confidence, winning personality), there’s not much chance that you’ll meet anyone.”

“And that’s assuming that you talk to anyone at all. It’s hardly the kind of place where a very average looking guy can have women approach him.”

The most important thing in conquering your anxiety is that you have to really want to and you must be willing to accept your faults.

I have alot of information posted on my blog, http://sociallydistressed.blogspot.com that I think you might find usefull. Also, If you have any questions, or if there’s anything you want to know more about, feel free to contact me. I’d love to share and help out.

]]> By: Ruby http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18769 Ruby Sat, 17 May 2008 08:32:03 +0000 http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18769 I hate bars. I'm a 31 year old woman, and while I'm attractive, I'm not gorgeous. I don't get a look-in, unless men want to take me home for the night as an 'easy' option, ugh. I stay away from online dating for the same reason. I'm despairing of ever meeting a man - it seems that if a woman isn't gorgeous, she has to be outgoing, or she's regarded as someone to throw away. I've cut myself a break - all the rejection got me down, as I figured I'd be better off spending my time on pursuits that nurture me. I hate bars. I’m a 31 year old woman, and while I’m attractive, I’m not gorgeous. I don’t get a look-in, unless men want to take me home for the night as an ‘easy’ option, ugh. I stay away from online dating for the same reason. I’m despairing of ever meeting a man - it seems that if a woman isn’t gorgeous, she has to be outgoing, or she’s regarded as someone to throw away. I’ve cut myself a break - all the rejection got me down, as I figured I’d be better off spending my time on pursuits that nurture me.

]]> By: Alina Phoenix http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18760 Alina Phoenix Sat, 17 May 2008 03:42:21 +0000 http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18760 I personally don't feel that avoiding the bar scene is a bad thing. Alcohol changes people, and when you meet someone at the bar, you don't really know who they are. I think it's better to meet people where there's not alcohol involved. Anyway, dating sucks when you have the social anxiety, period. It makes it all just that much harder. Wishing you luck and freedom from fear! Namaste, Lina How I conquered agoraphobia ... automaticlifechanges.com I personally don’t feel that avoiding the bar scene is a bad thing. Alcohol changes people, and when you meet someone at the bar, you don’t really know who they are. I think it’s better to meet people where there’s not alcohol involved.

Anyway, dating sucks when you have the social anxiety, period. It makes it all just that much harder.

Wishing you luck and freedom from fear!
Namaste,
Lina

How I conquered agoraphobia …
automaticlifechanges.com

]]> By: Ray http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18382 Ray Fri, 09 May 2008 15:05:44 +0000 http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-18382 The bar scene is not for everyone. If you want to meet women, try a co-ed activity like Volleyball or something where you come across as confident and are in your comfort zone. I met my wife playing volleyball, one of my better sports and I have a boatload of anxiety. The bar scene is not for everyone. If you want to meet women, try a co-ed activity like Volleyball or something where you come across as confident and are in your comfort zone.

I met my wife playing volleyball, one of my better sports and I have a boatload of anxiety.

]]> By: anon http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-17759 anon Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:06:25 +0000 http://shyandquiet.com/2008/04/24/social-anxiety-dating-and-the-bar-scene/#comment-17759 I feel exactly the same way about bars etc. All horrible. I can also relate to that feeling, i'm also always "left out". I'm only 20 but it still sucks. I only hope that one day i will actually have some luck! I feel exactly the same way about bars etc. All horrible. I can also relate to that feeling, i’m also always “left out”. I’m only 20 but it still sucks. I only hope that one day i will actually have some luck!

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