Dating, Social Anxiety, And The Wussy Factor
Because of the fact that social anxiety has run the show for the past thirty years, I find myself at the point where I am lacking in some of the most basic life skills. I won’t go into detail about this (I have in previous posts), but, suffice it to say, I am still a novice when it comes to many areas of social interaction – Particularly when it comes to dating.
One of the biggest problems I have with relationships is the fact that I become too attached, or clingy, if you will. This generally leads to behavior that is less than flattering (jealousy, insecurity, neediness). Although I realize the mistakes I’m making, I feel powerless to stop. It’s as if I’m fighting my natural instincts – and I suppose I am, when you get down to it. It’s tough to change who you are, deep down.
Most dating advice sites would call this “wussy” behavior and something to be avoided at all costs. And I can see where they are absolutely right. People are attracted to confidence and self-assuredness. Heck, even I’m attracted to someone that has enough confidence to know what they want and to chart their own course.
So why do I continue to act this way. Why do I become so attached to one woman to the point where I drive her away? It’s not as if I don’t know how things work – yet I feel unable to stop.
It sucks having social anxiety. Not only does it prevent me from getting out there and meeting people (and potential dates), but once I get to know someone, I blow it by showing my feelings and turning into a complete wuss.
I know that not everyone is going to agree with what I just said, but I’m fairly sure I have this accurately pegged. I have experienced this on more than one occasion. In fact, I have been in situations where I wasn’t attracted to someone, yet the more I ignored them, the more clingy they became. There is a great lesson in human psychology here somewhere.
So, what is the answer? Should I pretend not to like someone I am crazy about? Or should I just learn to keep cool and not show my emotions so readily?
I’ve been told many times by friends and acquaintances that I am too sensitive, and that women don’t want or need that. I’ve been told that I should learn to be a man and exude confidence instead of this wussyness that people can pick up on a mile away.
Dating sucks. Well, not really. Dating and social anxiety sucks.
2 Responses to “Dating, Social Anxiety, And The Wussy Factor”
Hi there,
I’m so glad you posted this. As a twenty-something with SA, I was wondering how the dating scene worked for some of us who live with SA. Now I have one answer. (lol)
It’s so good to know there are others out there like me. Thank you for posting. I love your postings because you never give up, and that is SO helpful. Thank you.
Hey now…women do like sensitive men..However women do not like weak men or clingy men. I have SA and I know I am strong and I bet you are strong too. I am sure if anything was to happen to a woman in your presence you would stand up to defend her. Women like the sense of being protected. You are not a wussy.. maybe the women you are dating are ungrateful. However I can give you a tip or two if you are clingy. Use that SA to be mysterious at first which is sexy. We with SA come off eccentric.. women love that. Be creative. When you meet a woman practice patience..god willing she is not going anywhere…feel and know you have her. Put a couple of days in between calling her and after dates…(don’t ask..its the mating game) I am a woman and like the fact that a man is busy working and having a life instead of being up under me 24 7…Tell her beautiful things of course but don’t let it get out of hand, keep her wondering. After this initial mating game… you can be open with your true feelings without scaring her. Women want to feel like they are being chosen.. not like she was the first that came through… so she is the one that will do. Make her feel special without being over bearing and maintaining your own identity. Its all about BALANCE. You will find someone who loves you unconditionally and that someone will be the very one that you want. Good Luck, Bless
Leave a Reply