Because of the fact that social anxiety has run the show for the past thirty years, I find myself at the point where I am lacking in some of the most basic life skills. I won’t go into detail about this (I have in previous posts), but, suffice it to say, I am still a novice when it comes to many areas of social interaction – Particularly when it comes to dating.
One of the biggest problems I have with relationships is the fact that I become too attached, or clingy, if you will. This generally leads to behavior that is less than flattering (jealousy, insecurity, neediness). Although I realize the mistakes I’m making, I feel powerless to stop. It’s as if I’m fighting my natural instincts – and I suppose I am, when you get down to it. It’s tough to change who you are, deep down.
Most dating advice sites would call this wussy behavior and something to be avoided at all costs. And I can see where they are absolutely right. People are attracted to confidence and self-assuredness. Heck, even I’m attracted to someone that has enough confidence to know what they want and to chart their own course.
So why do I continue to act this way. Why do I become so attached to one woman to the point where I drive her away? It’s not as if I don’t know how things work – yet I feel unable to stop.
It sucks having social anxiety. Not only does it prevent me from getting out there and meeting people (and potential dates), but once I get to know someone, I blow it by showing my feelings and turning into a complete wuss.
I know that not everyone is going to agree with what I just said, but I’m fairly sure I have this accurately pegged. I have experienced this on more than one occasion. In fact, I have been in situations where I wasn’t attracted to someone, yet the more I ignored them, the more clingy they became. There is a great lesson in human psychology here somewhere.
So, what is the answer? Should I pretend not to like someone I am crazy about? Or should I just learn to keep cool and not show my emotions so readily?
I’ve been told many times by friends and acquaintances that I am too sensitive, and that women don’t want or need that. I’ve been told that I should learn to be a man and exude confidence instead of this wussyness that people can pick up on a mile away.
Dating sucks. Well, not really. Dating and social anxiety sucks.