It’s obvious that social anxiety and dating don’t mix for me. However, as a social anxiety sufferer, I can’t beat myself up for feeling awkward and inadequate when it comes to romance. After all, dating is pretty high up there when it comes to the degree of social difficulty.
So, what’s the solution? In the animal kingdom, I suppose I’d just have to accept my lot in life and let the alpha males dominate the situation. Fortunately, things are a little different for us humans and there are many ways to reach a goal. You just have to think outside the box a bit – be a little unconventional. That’s what separates us from the animals, after all.
The way I see it, traditional dating methods are way too intense for me. The anxiety is overpowering even after making some significant progress with my social anxiety. That’s fine – I accept that as a temporary limitation. There’s no sense in trying to fight it head-on, wasting all that time and energy when I could be trying alternative methods that are more likely to succeed.
It’s taken me a while to develop that more mature mindset. In the past, I had a very all or nothing way of looking at things. If I couldn’t do things the traditional way, like most guys, it wasn’t worth trying at all. If I couldn’t approach women or sit across a table with a date and have a normal conversation, then I was a failure.
So, what options are available to a socially anxious guy in the dating world? Well, actually – lots. I found that as soon as I accepted the fact that traditional methods wouldn’t work, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. It also forced me to start thinking more creatively.
The key to my dating success came down to two words: Creating Opportunity.