As a social anxiety suffer, I tend to be hyper-sensitive when it comes to the feedback I get from other people. Granted, the way I interpret their responses might be a little skewed, but thats improving.
Because of this acute awareness, Ive discovered that there is a direct connection between how I feel (and project myself), and the way people respond to me. In other words, if Im feeling good, I usually get a friendlier response from others.
Ive talked about this before, but I think it bears repeating because of how utterly important it is in the grand scheme of things. Unfortunately, its something that few of us are consciously aware of, as we carry on with our everyday lives.
Ive never been much of a believer in the intangible. Ive always insisted on proof before I believed anything and always considered myself to be pretty logical. The idea that it is possible to give off negative vibes (and to affect others around me) would have been utterly laughable only a few years ago. Yet, I cant deny that there is some truth to this theory.
Like most people, I didnt really notice how much my mood influenced others until I made a huge effort to watch this phenomenon in action and forced myself to be consciously aware of how I was interacting with the rest of society.
Its so easy to assume that there is no cause and effect relationship with the rest of the physical world. Its hard to image how anything we do could somehow influence the rest of society – yet it does.
I cant explain how its possible to influence others with bad (or good) vibes through any other means than the usual verbal communication and body language, but I know it exists.
If I am in a negative mood, nothing seems to go right. It just seems as though there is one misfortune piled on top of another until I feel as though I cant take anymore. Everyone I come into contact with seems to have it in for me. No one smiles. No one talks to me. Everyone avoids me. Of course, this just adds fuel to the fire, and I end up feeling even worse. At times, this runaway effect has gotten so bad that anger takes over – thats when I simply take a break, go home, put on a movie, and hope that tomorrow is a better day.
What I have just recently discovered (and Im sure there is some psychological theories around this) is that I am influencing the world around me in a negative manner; and the feedback I am getting from people is simply a result of what they see and feel when Im around. I used to think that it was all in my head, but now I know that its real – Ive experienced it on many occasions.
Oh, and yes, I have tried to fake my mood around others, and it does no good whatsoever. Many times Ive simply painted on a happy face and hoped that things would improve, but people seem to see right through that.
Conversely, when I actually am in a happy mood, the world seems like a different place. People talk to me, smile, laugh with me, and carry on as though I was a long lost brother. Of course, this puts me in an even better mood. When Im happy, I simply dont get negativity from people – at all.
Why is this? I wish I had the answer.
One thing I do know is that I intend on concentrating on this peculiarity until I understand it a little better. Something tells me that it may be a huge piece of the social anxiety disorder puzzle – but Im still not sure how (or if) I can use this knowledge to my advantage.