Living (Happily) With Social Anxiety
Living with social anxiety is tough, but it could be worse. That’s the realization that I’ve come to at this point in my life. Yes, I sometimes feel cheated and I can’t help but feel a sorry for myself on occasion, but I really think I need to start putting things in perspective. I still have my health (knock on wood), I’m doing okay financially (of course everything is relative), I’m starting to meet more people, I’m making a few friends, and I’m getting out more than I ever have. On top of all that, my anxiety in public places and around strange people is subsiding with each passing month.
To be honest, I think I can live happily with things the way they are. It’s not that I’ve stopped trying to make improvements, it’s just that I’m finding that progress seems to be a lot harder to come by these days. I suspect that I’ve reached a point of diminishing returns were the effort may not necessarily be worth it.
Going through life always feeling inadequate in some way is a recipe for misery. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and each of us is unique in our own way. Okay, I know that sounds a little cliché, but it’s true. If you go through life always thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else, you’ll wake up one day and realize that the best years of your life have passed you by-and you spent them being miserable.
I’ve accepted the fact that social anxiety is simply a part of who I am, and nothing is really going to change that. However, I do believe that I’ve reached the point where I can live a reasonable life while existing harmoniously with this condition. Honestly, what more do I really want out of life?
Instead of worrying about what I don’t have, what I’m missing out on, how defective I am, and how I can never live up to some preconceived notion of what the perfect person is, I should learn to live in the moment and appreciate life as it is right now - not fantasize at how great it can be if I could only rid myself of this disorder. Would I even want to be that person? I’m not sure I would.
So while I continue to try to make progress with my social phobia problem, I’ll try to cut myself a bit of slack at the same time and try to enjoy life a little more.
As they say: The journey is sometimes more important than the destination.
I agree. As a person who also suffers from SA, I can say that it is always a good starting point to count your blessings. The many that you have add up to so much more than picking at yourself constantly.
You’re very lucky to be you in more ways than one.
This has to be one of your best articles… I just stumbled upon your blog today while researching SA info and I just want to tell you that you are a very inspiring person! Just being OK with who you are now is so hard, yet so important. It is a huge realization that even people without SA have a hard time dealing with. I struggle with it day after day, week after week, but its worth it. I have SA as well and its tough to see others living lives of social content and freedom… but then again I’m sure they have their personal setbacks too, we all do. I, like you, need to remember the good things… and just relax!
Thanks for writing!