Here’s an interesting theory. If you had told me about this five years ago, I would’ve laughed to myself and dismissed it within a second.
I’ve always been very interested in self-help books. You might even say I’m a little addicted to them. One thing I’ve become very interested in lately is the notion that what you think will become your reality. In other words, if you believe you are inferior to others, that will become your reality, and others will begin to see you in exactly this way.
If you feel inferior around other people, you will begin to be viewed as exactly that – Inferior. If you think you are ugly, you will begin to influence other people into believing you are ugly also. The same goes for any negative trait.
If you feel like a failure, you will fail. If you believe you are doomed to a life of disappointment and scarcity, you will remain stuck in that exact situation.
I consider myself a pretty logical person and theories like this, in my view, don’t really have enough real evidence behind them. I mean, how is it possible that I can think myself into the situations I most want to avoid? How can I physically influence someone else’s thoughts by my own negative thoughts?
My immediate reaction to this was that I created this reality by misinterpreting signals from other people. In other words, if I felt ugly, I would interpret the feedback I got from other people in a negative way – I would sense that they thought I was ugly also (when, in fact, they didn’t). Of course, this would only be in my own mind.
However, over the past few years, I’m not so sure that it’s as black and white as that. I’ve been very careful to be as perceptive as possible while I’m out in public. In almost every case, when I am feeling substandard in some way, I am treated differently by everyone I come into contact with. I don’t know if this has more to do with my facial expressions and general look, but I definitely notice a difference.
If I’m feeling attractive and I’m talking to a woman, I almost always feel that they are attracted to me by what they say and their body language. This isn’t my imagination, I’ve experienced it many times. Conversely, if my self-image is down in the dumps and I’m feeling unattractive, I don’t feel that they are attracted to me at all. In fact, I feel as though they are repulsed by me and are looking for an excuse to break away.
Is this my imagination? Is my interpretation system out of whack? Or am I actually affecting how people view me? Are women less attracted to me because I feel less attractive?
All of this seems pretty far-fetched, but there is definitely something going on on a whole other level. I just wish I knew what it was.