Social Anxiety Disorder - Jealousy And Relationships
From the time I started high school (and really started getting interested in girls), I have always had a jealous streak when it came to women. Well, obviously not all, just the ones that I dated.
Actually, that’s not really true; I could get jealous of any woman I was attracted to, whether we had a relationship or not. Most times they weren’t even aware of my feelings towards them - how weird is that?
In any case, my jealous problem was responsible for about 100% of my failed relationships. It always played out the same way. Things began okay, but after a while I started becoming possessive, jealous, and paranoid.
I could actually see the changes happening right before my eyes, and I knew that once I started behaving like that, the relationship was on borrowed time – Yet I was helpless to prevent it.
I suppose it all has to do with bonding with someone. Once you create that bond, you’ve got something very precious. The stronger my feelings were towards that person, the more jealous I became. In every instance, it was only a matter of time before it slipped through my fingers. That would certainly explain why I was okay at the beginning of a relationship - I hadn’t had time to become too attached.
It’s only until recently that I feel I’ve made progress with this problem. Of course, a lot of that might have to do with maturity, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve blown a lot of good relationships because of my insecurity.
And, really, that’s what it boils down to - insecurity.
Of course, when you’re in a relationship and start acting in such a juvenile manner, it’s almost useless to try and explain the reasons behind your behaviour. It’s not like you can just tell them that you’re insecure and you have no self-esteem, therefore, that’s why you’re acting like a two year old.
Now that I’m in my late 30s and I’ve discovered exactly what’s wrong with me, I can’t help but feel sad. Who knows what great relationships I could have had? Maybe I’d be married today with kids, enjoying a normal life like every other guy my age. It’s just painful to think of all the opportunity I’ve wasted.
On the bright side, I’m still relatively young and I’m sure I’ll have many more opportunities to meet someone special. I’m at least thankful for having made improvements in the area of self-esteem and confidence. With a little more confidence I’m hoping that a lot of those insecurities will be gone.
Of course, time will tell.
2 Responses to “Social Anxiety Disorder - Jealousy And Relationships”
Hey, I am a fellow SA sufferer. I was wondering if you have ever looked into the PUA community. That is the community of men that specifically practice social skills to be able to pick up women. I’ve done a lot of research into this and it seems to work for a lot of people and many of them are extremely shy. I’ve tried myself but haven’t exactly succeeded yet, I think I need to work out issues of depression first and then really get into it. Actually, one of the founders of this community is from Canada, his “name” is Mystery. So I just wanted to tell you about this if you don’t already know about it. They have a very unique way of talking to women that basically makes them chase after you. I think if you haven’t looked into it you should because you never know this might really work for you as I hope it will work for me. Anyways, I hope everything will be positive for you n the future.
I just stumbled across your site & wanted to say - THANK YOU! I’ve been looking for some kind of online community/blog that discusses SA. Although I’m getting better, I have experienced this same thing. I didn’t really understand that my jealousy & insecurity were a part of Social Anxiety & that my SA was obviously creating a lot of the jealousy/paranoia that ended my relationships. I realize now that if I get help for my SA, my relationships will probably last, too. Please keep writing. xo
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