Archive for the ‘Changing my SA ways’ Category
The company Christmas party - even more
Walking through the noisy, crowded living room (beer in hand), trying to appear normal, I felt like such a loser. Everyone - and I mean, everyone - seemed to be talking and laughing with someone else. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was so frustrated at that point, I felt tears welling up in [...]
The company Christmas party - still more
As we entered the living/family room, my boss offered us a drink. He then looked at me and said the strangest thing:
“Relax Drew, we’re all friends here. You’re going to have a great time.”
Sort of an odd thing to say, but he does know how quiet I am most of the time. Maybe he saw [...]
The company Christmas party - more
Yeah, a sense of belonging can go a long way.
I couldn’t believe how much it changed things. After all these years of facing society alone, I finally had someone in my corner. Of course, my co-workers didn’t have a clue. I’m sure they would have considered that awful strange.
Nevertheless, there I was, standing in the [...]
The company Christmas party
Our company Christmas party took place a few weeks ago. I estimate that there were about 80-100 people there. Fortunately, my boss has a huge house so, although there was a large number in attendance, it wasn’t crowded and you still had room to walk around.
The restaurant employs 14 people, including me, so you can [...]
Conversation - letting go
As I already mentioned, my inability to communicate effectively with others in conversation is (was), in many ways, tied to my perfectionist traits. After analyzing my deepest fears, I eventually came to the conclusion that I could not tolerate partial success. I could not handle being a mediocre anything.
Conversation - ditching the perfectionist trait
Perfectionism has always been a strong personality trait of mine. This is not necessarily a good thing. Yes, it is very commendable to try and perform to the best of one’s ability, but when it turns into an unhealthy obsession; it’s time to seriously weigh the benefits.
The journey is its own reward
There is an old saying about how it’s not the destination that matters, but the journey along the way. No truer words have ever been spoken, in my opinion.
I’ve spent a good part of my life wishing things were different. Always feeling inadequate in some way – always needing to change something – never being [...]
Social anxiety and career success
Success is something I’ve always found elusive. Working in a hot kitchen day after day for little more than minimum wage reinforces that fact, while I’m reminded of things that could have been and opportunities lost. Sure, the job is easy, and I’ve become quite comfortable in my rut, but something is missing. The safe [...]
10 things I do to improve my quality of life
My long-term goal is to overcome social anxiety disorder and start living a normal life.
Well…Duh!
Ok, an overly simplified, but true, statement. It’s just too bad that getting there wasn’t as simple.
The fact of the matter is that I may never reach that “ideal” stage – well, at least not without some kind of [...]
A more subtle approach
Social anxiety disorder, for me, is a force to be reckoned with. It has dominated my life for 30+ years, and although I’ve managed to develop ways to start living a somewhat normal life, I fear that it will always be there to some extent.