Deep down, I’m not really any different than the average person. It’s taken me a long time to be able to see this. After spending most of my life feeling like no one could ever be as strange, quiet, and anxious as I was, I now realize that I’m not so far off the mark [...]
I hate making eye contact.
There, now that that’s out of the way, I’d like to talk about ways to get around this absolutely critical part of non-verbal communication.
It’s said that non-verbal communication such as eye contact, body language, and facial expressions pave the way for conversation to take place. In other words, before a word [...]
Society operates according to its own rules when it comes to social interaction. Regardless of how we would like things to function, we, nevertheless, must tailor our approach according to a protocol that has been thousands of years in the making.
And what if we don’t conform? Well, I’ve personally tried the rebel approach and did [...]
A big part of being a good conversationalist is the ability to listen. Being tuned in to what other people are saying is essential for good two-way communication. People know when they have your undivided attention…or not.
Socializing is hard work – at least it is for a guy like me. Perhaps, one day, as I gain more experience, it won’t seem so daunting. But for now, each and every social encounter takes a tremendous effort. Yet, where would I be if I didn’t try?
Without making an effort, I’d never make any [...]
Social anxiety disorder has been a problem for me since early childhood, but it’s only recently that I’ve discovered it is the result of bad programming and bad habits. I apologize to anyone that thinks I’m over-simplifying matters. As always, I’m relating my discussion to my own personal experiences.
I’ll talk about bad programming first.
Social anxiety disorder had won the first round, but I was back to try again. This seemingly insignificant achievement made me proud. In previous years, I would have found a way to get out of there and avoid any further punishment. I would have gone into a full-blown depression for a week or so, running [...]
Walking through the noisy, crowded living room (beer in hand), trying to appear normal, I felt like such a loser. Everyone - and I mean, everyone - seemed to be talking and laughing with someone else. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was so frustrated at that point, I felt tears welling up in [...]
As we entered the living/family room, my boss offered us a drink. He then looked at me and said the strangest thing:
“Relax Drew, we’re all friends here. You’re going to have a great time.”
Sort of an odd thing to say, but he does know how quiet I am most of the time. Maybe he saw [...]
Yeah, a sense of belonging can go a long way.
I couldn’t believe how much it changed things. After all these years of facing society alone, I finally had someone in my corner. Of course, my co-workers didn’t have a clue. I’m sure they would have considered that awful strange.
Nevertheless, there I was, standing in the [...]