My long-term goal is to overcome social anxiety disorder and start living a normal life.

Well¦Duh!

Ok, an overly simplified, but true, statement. Its just too bad that getting there wasnt as simple.

The fact of the matter is that I may never reach that ideal stage – well, at least not without some kind of personality transplant. Its always good to have high hopes and even higher goals, but does that automatically make one a failure unless those goals are reached?

My all-or-nothing mindset says yes, however, Ive learned that it is possible to achieve success without absolutely owning that ultimate goal. Ive learned to accept small achievements and I can see my life improving in ways that I couldnt have imagined.

So, until I can say that Ive beaten this thing, Ill relish my accomplishments along the way. As they say, getting there is half the fun.

Here are 10 things I do to improve my quality of life while I exist (somewhat) harmoniously with social anxiety disorder: (more…)

Social anxiety disorder, for me, is a force to be reckoned with. It has dominated my life for 30+ years, and although Ive managed to develop ways to start living a somewhat normal life, I fear that it will always be there to some extent. (more…)

Most self-help books and tapes have dedicated at least one chapter to relaxation techniques. Breathing exercises, positive self-talk, soothing music, mental imagery, and grounding techniques are among the most popular. Most of these methods are built on solid scientific research, and there is no doubt in my mind that they are an invaluable resource in overcoming fear and anxiety. (more…)

For the past year or so, Ive been trying to make a conscience effort to be 100 percent genuine. Rather than allowing society to dictate the person I should be, Im following my instincts and determining the person I want to be, entirely on my own, without any outside influence.

One point of clarification: Society does not dictate who I am as a person, but more accurately, its my warped interpretation system that believes it does. (more…)

There are numerous techniques, tips, tricks, and methods that I have tried throughout my life to deal with my social anxiety. Everything from professional therapy, to mail-order miracle cures. I have also developed a few coping techniques of my own through years of trial and error.

The conclusion Ive drawn, after implementing many of these coping mechanisms, is that the slow, steady, calculated, day-by-day methods actually work best. Ive given up on trying to find the quick and easy miracle cure (the holy grail of SA cures) – call it maturity. Setting realistic expectations does not mean that you have to simply accept your lot in life – its just that you have to work hard, acknowledge any amount of improvement, have patience, and move forward. (more…)

The confrontation at the pub was a one-off – a childish, schoolyard-bully, one-off – very rare in an adult society. Normal, civilized people do not behave in that manner – trust me. However, we do live in a very diverse and unpredictable world, and you never know whats around the corner. (more…)

Anyway, sorry about the long, drawn out story, but I thought I would use it as an example of how unpredictable people can be. Just when you think you have things figured out, youre making progress, and you feel some sense of normality and hope, something like that comes along and just blows you out of the water. (more…)

I was on the verge of making a smart-assed comment – you know – just to redeem myself, but I decided against that. Not that I didnt feel like saying anything, I just wanted to be able to walk out of the place without getting ambushed in the parking lot. I could also see the fear in Marks face as he stared at me, wondering what I would do next. (more…)

The stare method works on the premise that all, or most of, the negative feedback in a social situation is false – In other words, created by ones sub-conscious. It does not work well for situations in which the feedback is real.

Step one in the stare method involves turning off the negative thoughts. Its not the same as shutting out real input from a real source. This was a hard lesson learned. (more…)

The world isnt always predictable, and the people in it can be even less so.

Let me tell you about a situation in which the stare method did not work. In fact, it caused serious problems and almost got me beat up. This is a good example of why you need to evaluate each situation individually. (more…)