If social anxiety disorder could have been conquered by gradually increasing exposures, implementing coping techniques, and building on previous experiences, then I believe I would have overcome my condition much sooner. I would have simply followed the directions, and presto – a new me. (more…)

Now that I had peeled back the layers and uncovered the source of my social anxiety and poor self-esteem, I had to determine the best way to interrupt the negative cycle that had developed over the years. Attacking it head-on seemed pointless – it was too powerful and had way too much momentum. (more…)

I have been writing about my social anxiety for a while now. Ive talked about the different layers involved and how it seems that there is no end to it – just one level after the other.

I decided that confidence and self-esteem would be one entire section of my new foundation. Then I discovered that there were automatic thoughts in an underlying layer that were controlling my life and sabotaging my efforts. Was there another level lurking in the background – something below automatic thoughts? (more…)

I was comfortable in my routine – a little too comfortable, actually. The problem was that I also felt like there was something horribly wrong with me. My brain/subconscious was completely comfortable in the rut that it had been in for years. It was a familiar rut and the brain had all the various auto-responses for any given situation – thousands. Most of them served me well, but when it came to my social anxiety problem, well, I think I was being short-changed. Something was not right – not accurate. (more…)

I was determined to get to the root causes of my social anxiety. However, just when I thought I had broken things down to the most basic level, I would discover a few more under that. Where would it end? (more…)

Building self-esteem is no small task. In my case, I had nothing to work with. My self-confidence was non-existent. If it was ever there at all, it had been slowly eroded over decades. Each negative experience taking a small amount away until there was nothing left. (more…)

My task seemed insurmountable. Why couldnt I just accept myself as I was, and continue on with life? Well, because life had backed me into a corner and was waiting for me to make the next move. Yeah, I could have carried on as things were, but it wouldnt have been much of an existence. With no job, no friends, and depression becoming more entrenched with each passing day, I really had little to lose. (more…)

As mentioned in my previous posts, I have tried to kick the SA habit many times. Unfortunately, it was always short lived. I always attributed that to lack of motivation on my part, but that wasn’t really the case. I would start out with enthusiasm and high hopes, but with each attempt to make some small improvement, I felt as though I needed some kind of structure, or mental model to look at. I could blindly force myself to start talking more, smiling more, but what I really needed was a way to mentally place things. In order to make real progress, I needed a plan or road map. I needed a way to measure my progress and make the most efficient use of my time. I needed to categorize, implement and measure – I needed structure. I needed to see where I was, where I needed to be and how to get there. Although I knew the steps I needed to take, I had to relate things to something real – an analogy or metaphor. (more…)