-Drew
Social anxiety fatigue is a real condition. Ok, maybe not medically speaking (or is it?), but I have experienced this phenomenon many times. For those of you that dont know what Im talking about, Ill try to explain. Keep in mind, however, that this is just my own experience. (more…)
Beating social anxiety is my number one goal. Failure is simply not an option at this point. Ive put too much time and effort into it. I refuse to let this slide like every other endeavour Ive attempted in the past – and Im not just talking about social anxiety.
So whats changed? Well, to be honest, Im completely fed up with giving in to defeat. I cant begin to tell you about all the projects Ive started, the businesses I intended to start (some, I actually did get off the ground), the courses I signed up for, and the promises Ive made to work on my shyness and self-improvement in general. (more…)
Socializing is hard work – at least it is for a guy like me. Perhaps, one day, as I gain more experience, it wont seem so daunting. But for now, each and every social encounter takes a tremendous effort. Yet, where would I be if I didnt try?
Without making an effort, Id never make any progress with my social anxiety at all. For me, effort could mean anything from simply leaving the house, to initiating conversations, to asking a stranger for the time, or returning a friendly gesture (smile). (more…)
There are numerous techniques, tips, tricks, and methods that I have tried throughout my life to deal with my social anxiety. Everything from professional therapy, to mail-order miracle cures. I have also developed a few coping techniques of my own through years of trial and error.
The conclusion Ive drawn, after implementing many of these coping mechanisms, is that the slow, steady, calculated, day-by-day methods actually work best. Ive given up on trying to find the quick and easy miracle cure (the holy grail of SA cures) – call it maturity. Setting realistic expectations does not mean that you have to simply accept your lot in life – its just that you have to work hard, acknowledge any amount of improvement, have patience, and move forward. (more…)
Taking pleasure in the task at hand makes all the difference in the world. At least this is how it worked for me. Having a genuine interest in whatever I was working on, made learning easier, working more pleasurable, and increased the likelihood that I would follow through until completion.
This concept was nothing new. It had been evident that, since grade school, I was able to learn and retain more if the subject happened to be interesting. Subjects that were boring and mundane seemed to take longer to grasp, as the information didnt seem to sink in as quickly.
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Im digressing a little into the area of motivation, goal-setting, faith and determination, because, without this, little can be accomplished in life – including efforts to combat my social anxiety.
I needed to:
-Have clear goals and the ability to stay focused.
-Have faith that things would progress and improve.
-Have a genuine interest in what I was doing, and stay interested long enough to actually accomplish something.
-See results and measure success.
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Although many more steps were needed to complete difficult tasks and achieve goals, I didnt mind. It wasnt like extra work – actually, it was more enjoyable. I still had the tendency to demand perfection from myself, but I continued following the schedule I wanted, not what I felt I had to do. (more…)
Taking the so called under achievers route worked pretty well for me – I was getting more done in a day and I felt, generally, happier. Once I was able to get over my perfectionist attitude and allow certain things to go unfinished, I was good.
I was functioning in a world of grey. A world where there was no black or white – no right or wrong – no empty or full. Very little was completed, but a lot was accomplished. This was the world of the productive slacker. (more…)
To give you an idea of how the divide-by-two rule worked for me, Ill use an example of something I dread every year: Taxes.
Sitting down and filling out my yearly tax forms is painful – Im sure many can relate to this. In fact, its the one thing that is sure to get put on the back-burner for as long as possible. Each year is the same: procrastinate until the end of April, and then pull an all-nighter to try and beat the deadline. (more…)
The divide-by-two rule is not something new in the area of self-improvement – so the concept may be recognized under different names. This technique is something that Ive worked on and customized to help with my own situation. The name is just something that came to me at the time. (more…)
