Archive for the ‘Starting over’ Category
Defeating social anxiety a little at a time - 6 years later
In 2002, (as social anxiety tightened its grip on every aspect of my life) I quit my high paying, corporate job out of desperation. It wasn’t a decision that I made lightly – after all, this was my career and my livelihood. I was employed by that company for 4 years. Once the deed was [...]
Social anxiety - leaving the rat-race
Since leaving my corporate job a few years ago, I’ve managed to fine tune my life to the point where I’m relatively happy. Looking back, I can see how much the rat-race was harming me, and how anxious and fearful every day was. I doubt that I’ll ever regret the decision to resign, even though, [...]
Something to smile about
Why did my smile look so unnatural? Initially, I thought it might have been my warped self-perception kicking in, but after careful scrutiny, I came to the conclusion that my “friendly look” was, in fact, very scary looking - and that was the harsh reality. It was unnatural because it was not genuine. I didn’t [...]
The incubation stage
The incubation stage was very low-key. There was very little pressure here, so it was actually enjoyable in many ways. In fact, the reason this level even existed, was so that I could let loose, mix it up, experiment, fall down, and then do it all over – All this in a very safe environment.
Expanding my boundaries
I woke up the next morning determined to make a difference. Realizing how much of my life had been wasted (especially the last year), I felt a sense of urgency to try to get things sorted. I was hitting my mid thirties, time was running out, and I could not allow social anxiety disorder to [...]
An easy start
The problem in having to deal with the rest of the world was that I had little or no control over things. Life just went along its merry way regardless of what I did. I had little influence.
Most of the time, I was in over my head (or at least that’s how it felt). I [...]
Micro-encounters and boundaries
Most self-help books and tapes advocate the slow approach - and after several failed exposure attempts, I knew that it would also be mine. However, it would have to be more than that – I would not only have to start slow, but I’d have to create a small, customised and controlled environment - and [...]
My desired state
Once again, I was back at square one. I needed a starting point and some sort of plan. Anything would do for now, as long as it got me moving - I could tweak it later. The last six months had not been a total waste. I learned a lot about myself. For example, I [...]
What did I want out of life?
I eventually came to the conclusion that, although there were many people concerned about my well-being, it was ultimately my responsibility to take control of my life. No one was going to do this for me. I couldn’t just sit back and have my ideal life unfold in front of me – but wouldn’t it [...]
On the up cycle - finally!
The cycle theory helped me get through the lowest point in my life. Yeah, I know it’s simplistic, but for me it actually made a huge difference. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t used it since having so much success a few years back in an intolerable work environment.
My belief that the next upturn was right [...]