How to Conquer Social Anxiety Disorder

One of the most damaging misconceptions a person with social anxiety disorder is prone to hold onto is the concept that they cannot be saved. The reason that myth is held so firmly by those who are so unfortunate as to have this debilitating phobia is that the most dominant feeling you have when you are in the midst of a panic attack or suffering the effects of social anxiety is helplessness. But when anybody who is suffering with a disability or an illness gives up like that, doctors as well as family and friends have an uphill battle to try and help you.
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Is it possible to boost your likeability factor by just being nicer to people? Well, my experience has been yes, and no. Ive had limited success using this principle on its own, so I am convinced that there needs to be something more. What that missing ingredient is, remains as elusive as ever - in my case, anyway. However, I do feel that I might be slowly making sense of it all and starting to see the bigger picture. (more…)

Shy, quiet, nice guy, are among the most popular terms that people use to describe me - at least, people whom I know fairly well. The shy-and-quiet description is a given. Thats just who I am, and its not likely to change significantly in the near future.

The nice-guy label is not accurate, however. The truth of the matter is that if people feel Im a nice guy, then its only due to me misrepresenting myself and misleading them. The fact is that Im far from being the nice guy I portray myself as. Im actually a fake - a phony. (more…)

Because of my social anxiety disorder, I have an awful habit of selling out to people. In most social situations, I will almost certainly take a back seat to others. Its not that Im being gracious or anything; I do it because I dont want to upset people. I do it because I want to be liked by everyone. I do it because of my low self-esteem, and because I have no faith in myself or my abilities. Im too willing to agree with others while discounting my own thoughts and ideas. (more…)

The Santa experience was traumatic. 5 years ago, social anxiety ruled my life and, as a result, that incident weighed heavily on my mind for weeks. I couldnt stop thinking about how much of a fool I had made of myself. I kept repeating the entire evening in my mind, analyzing every last detail and beating myself up for things I should, and should not, have done. (more…)

There is nothing in this world that scares me more than having to make a speech or perform in public.

Standing there in that Santa suit, I felt as though I were teetering on the edge of a great abyss - nowhere to run - nowhere to hide - only one way out. I hated myself for being so scared and timid. Why couldnt I just be normal? What was wrong with me? Did other people experience this level of anxiety and dread? (more…)

Volunteering to be Santa, and actually going through with it, were two different things. Although I was as nervous as hell when I agreed to fill in, it was nothing compared to the feeling I had as I slowly donned the old Santa suit. This was real now, and I was committed. Feelings of panic and anxiety swept over me as I prepared for my debut as old St, Nick. (more…)

Our annual Christmas party came complete with a real live Santa. He would make his appearance about midway through the party, toting a bag of gifts for the kids. Santa had a reserved chair where he would take his place and start passing out these toys. Later, he could be seen reading a story to a very captive audience, seated on the floor around him. (more…)

Avoiding social events is what I do best. After years of experience, I have become an expert at side-stepping any situation that involves interacting with more than three people. I am particularly good at sensing any hint of danger associated with such events. Danger would be any chance, however slim, that I would be centered out or put on the spot for whatever reason. Lets just say that I plan my outings very carefully. (more…)

In a previous post, I mentioned that I seemed to have two very different personalities, entirely dependant upon location. There was my at home personality (I considered this to be the real me), and my public personality.

I felt completely relaxed at home. I was witty, fun to be around, and maybe even admired. There was not a hint of apprehension in how I expressed myself, and my own self-perception was very positive. In fact, there were days where I didnt think of my social phobia at all. It was nice to have these mini vacations without my brain going into overdrive and second-guessing every move I made. In the confines of my home, I actually enjoyed being me. My entire perspective on the world, and my place in it, was normal. I felt good about myself.
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