Archive for the ‘The intimidation factor’ Category

Being nice is only part of it

Is it possible to boost your likeability factor by just being nicer to people? Well, my experience has been yes, and no. I’ve had limited success using this principle on its own, so I am convinced that there needs to be something more. What that missing ingredient is, remains as elusive as ever – in [...]

The nice-guy syndrome

Shy, quiet, nice guy, are among the most popular terms that people use to describe me – at least, people whom I know fairly well. The shy-and-quiet description is a given. That’s just who I am, and it’s not likely to change significantly in the near future.
The nice-guy label is not accurate, however. [...]

Social anxiety disorder - selling out

Because of my social anxiety disorder, I have an awful habit of selling out to people. In most social situations, I will almost certainly take a back seat to others. It’s not that I’m being gracious or anything; I do it because I don’t want to upset people. I do it because I want to [...]

Over-analyzing things - again

The Santa experience was traumatic. 5 years ago, social anxiety ruled my life and, as a result, that incident weighed heavily on my mind for weeks. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much of a fool I had made of myself. I kept repeating the entire evening in my mind, analyzing every last detail and [...]

Really playing the part

There is nothing in this world that scares me more than having to make a speech or perform in public.
Standing there in that Santa suit, I felt as though I were teetering on the edge of a great abyss – nowhere to run – nowhere to hide – only one way out. I hated [...]

The socially anxious Santa Claus

Volunteering to be Santa, and actually going through with it, were two different things. Although I was as nervous as hell when I agreed to fill in, it was nothing compared to the feeling I had as I slowly donned the old Santa suit. This was real now, and I was committed. Feelings of panic [...]

Playing Santa is natural - for an extrovert

Our annual Christmas party came complete with a real live Santa. He would make his appearance about midway through the party, toting a bag of gifts for the kids. Santa had a reserved chair where he would take his place and start passing out these toys. Later, he could be seen reading a story to [...]

Interacting with social extroverts

Avoiding social events is what I do best. After years of experience, I have become an expert at side-stepping any situation that involves interacting with more than three people. I am particularly good at sensing any hint of danger associated with such events. Danger would be any chance, however slim, that I would be centered [...]

Public and private personalities

In a previous post, I mentioned that I seemed to have two very different personalities, entirely dependant upon location. There was my “at home” personality (I considered this to be the real me), and my public personality.
I felt completely relaxed at home. I was witty, fun to be around, and maybe even admired. There was [...]

A tendency to over-analyze

Much of my problem stemmed from the fact that I seemed to be too aware of myself and my surroundings. I was hyper-conscious of how I was perceived and how I interacted with others. In fact, so much time was spent analyzing each and every situation that it became tedious, stressful, and laborious to leave [...]