College was a tough time for me. Though I was sure that I’d be leaving all my troubles behind once my high school days were over, I was just kidding myself. Things didn’t improve much except for the fact that we were treated as adults now. Other than that, I was utterly alone. The only [...]
Success is something I’ve always found elusive. Working in a hot kitchen day after day for little more than minimum wage reinforces that fact, while I’m reminded of things that could have been and opportunities lost. Sure, the job is easy, and I’ve become quite comfortable in my rut, but something is missing. The safe [...]
In my last post I wrote about how awful it can feel to be intentionally isolated from a group for no apparent reason. I don’t know why this bothers me so much; I suppose being rejected by others is the final proof needed to backup my own “paranoid” suspicions. It’s one thing to suspect that [...]
My life was miserable as a cubicle dweller in the corporate world. However, in the state I was in back then, any job would have been the same. At the time, I blamed the company for the stressful environment they subjected me to, never looking inward to see if maybe the problem was with me.
Life was never the same for me in the corporate world after that episode. Perhaps it was just my overactive imagination, but after the embarrassing classroom performance, people seemed to be a little more standoffish. Not that anyone was particularly rude; it was just that I felt very much an outsider. I suspect that the [...]
Things were going downhill fast. I was screwing up, and everyone noticed. My face was now bright red. Not the usual mild [tag]blushing[/tag] that everyone experiences from time to time – oh no, this was a bright, crimson-red, bordering on reddish/purple - probably very freakish looking and undeniably noticeable.
I’d like to say that this experience turned out ok and that I got through the course without a hitch, but that wasn’t the case. I suppose you could say that I psyched myself out before the class got underway by believing that no other outcome was possible other than complete and utter failure and [...]
As the instructor proceeded to welcome all of us to the latest company workshop, I was filled with a sense of dread. I figured that the introductions would start in less than 5 minutes. Though I was on the verge of a total meltdown, I couldn’t help but notice the irony in the fact that [...]
The once quiet classroom was now filled with loud conversation and laughter – quite a contrast to the serene setting only moments ago. Amazed at how loud a few dozen people could be, I was vaguely aware of the fact that I was the only one not taking part in all the idle chit-chat. Surely, [...]
The training session was one of those events that brought out the worst in me. Yes, I knew about relaxation techniques and positive self-talk, but in reality the experience was so intense that it chewed up those techniques and spit them out. Fact is, I had a hundred different ways to put myself down and [...]