It’s funny, with all the time I’ve devoted to improving my social anxiety problem over the past three years, you would think that I’d be able to handle the odd “bump in the road.” You would think that with all the progress I’ve made, it would take a major cataclysmic event to derail me. At least, that’s what I thought.

I don’t know if it’s just bad luck, but trouble seems to find me wherever I go. I always try to mind my own business and I never look for negative encounters, but somehow they always find me. (more…)

Creating opportunity in the dating world has been challenging for me - obviously, my social anxiety problem doesnt help. However, I have managed some success by approaching the situation on my own terms. In other words, Ive given up trying the same methods most other guys use, and tried a little outside the box thinking.

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I hate making eye contact.

There, now that thats out of the way, Id like to talk about ways to get around this absolutely critical part of non-verbal communication.

Its said that non-verbal communication such as eye contact, body language, and facial expressions pave the way for conversation to take place. In other words, before a word is spoken, there is a whole lot of non-verbal communication going on below the surface. Most of us dont even think about it. (more…)

Social anxiety fatigue is a real condition. Ok, maybe not medically speaking (or is it?), but I have experienced this phenomenon many times. For those of you that dont know what Im talking about, Ill try to explain. Keep in mind, however, that this is just my own experience. (more…)

In 2002, (as social anxiety tightened its grip on every aspect of my life) I quit my high paying, corporate job out of desperation. It wasnt a decision that I made lightly - after all, this was my career and my livelihood. I was employed by that company for 4 years. Once the deed was done, I felt completely lost - as though Id just made the biggest mistake of my life. Yet, deep down, I somehow knew that the decision was the right one. (more…)

Heres something you can try on your own. The first time I did this, I was amazed at the difference it made.

Pick a day when you are feeling good. This is important because, if you have things on your mind, or you have just endured some negative experience, this wont work. Fortunately, everyone eventually has a day where they feel just a little better than normal. Im convinced that this has a lot to do with our body and brain chemistry. (more…)

Beating social anxiety is my number one goal. Failure is simply not an option at this point. Ive put too much time and effort into it. I refuse to let this slide like every other endeavour Ive attempted in the past - and Im not just talking about social anxiety.

So whats changed? Well, to be honest, Im completely fed up with giving in to defeat. I cant begin to tell you about all the projects Ive started, the businesses I intended to start (some, I actually did get off the ground), the courses I signed up for, and the promises Ive made to work on my shyness and self-improvement in general. (more…)

A big part of being a good conversationalist is the ability to listen. Being tuned in to what other people are saying is essential for good two-way communication. People know when they have your undivided attention¦or not. (more…)

Socializing is hard work - at least it is for a guy like me. Perhaps, one day, as I gain more experience, it wont seem so daunting. But for now, each and every social encounter takes a tremendous effort. Yet, where would I be if I didnt try?

Without making an effort, Id never make any progress with my social anxiety at all. For me, effort could mean anything from simply leaving the house, to initiating conversations, to asking a stranger for the time, or returning a friendly gesture (smile). (more…)

Social anxiety disorder had won the first round, but I was back to try again. This seemingly insignificant achievement made me proud. In previous years, I would have found a way to get out of there and avoid any further punishment. I would have gone into a full-blown depression for a week or so, running the events through my head hundreds of times - beating myself up for being so weak and pathetic.

However, today was not that day. I felt a surge of confidence simply because I was now able to recover from a negative encounter. I felt a little more mature and capable. Its hard to describe in words, really. (more…)