-Drew
Most of my social encounters turn out to be mediocre at best. Occasionally, I do have my moments and I am able to function in, what might be perceived to be, a completely normal manner. In fact, once in a blue moon, I’m actually able to step out of my usual comfort zone and truly enjoy interacting with others. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, there’s nothing like it.
Here’s an interesting theory. If you had told me about this five years ago, I would’ve laughed to myself and dismissed it within a second.
I’ve always been very interested in self-help books. You might even say I’m a little addicted to them. One thing I’ve become very interested in lately is the notion that what you think will become your reality. In other words, if you believe you are inferior to others, that will become your reality, and others will begin to see you in exactly this way.
Socializing is hard work - at least it is for a guy like me. Perhaps, one day, as I gain more experience, it wont seem so daunting. But for now, each and every social encounter takes a tremendous effort. Yet, where would I be if I didnt try?
Without making an effort, Id never make any progress with my social anxiety at all. For me, effort could mean anything from simply leaving the house, to initiating conversations, to asking a stranger for the time, or returning a friendly gesture (smile). (more…)
Social anxiety disorder had won the first round, but I was back to try again. This seemingly insignificant achievement made me proud. In previous years, I would have found a way to get out of there and avoid any further punishment. I would have gone into a full-blown depression for a week or so, running the events through my head hundreds of times - beating myself up for being so weak and pathetic.
However, today was not that day. I felt a surge of confidence simply because I was now able to recover from a negative encounter. I felt a little more mature and capable. Its hard to describe in words, really. (more…)
As we entered the living/family room, my boss offered us a drink. He then looked at me and said the strangest thing:
Relax Drew, were all friends here. Youre going to have a great time.
Sort of an odd thing to say, but he does know how quiet I am most of the time. Maybe he saw something in my face that I didnt think was noticeable (fear?). Anyway, my face got a little redder after that comment. I suppose people dont mean any harm with their comments, but I tend to take things too seriously. I started feeling like there was something wrong with me. I was looking forward to a drink or two just to take the edge off. (more…)
Yeah, a sense of belonging can go a long way.
I couldnt believe how much it changed things. After all these years of facing society alone, I finally had someone in my corner. Of course, my co-workers didnt have a clue. Im sure they would have considered that awful strange.
Nevertheless, there I was, standing in the foyer, checking out the people that were already there. I didnt recognize anyone from work; most of the guests were my bosss acquaintances, I guessed. (more…)
