Shy And Quiet

A few nights ago I was sitting at home watching the Olympics when I noticed that every single athlete selected for an interview seemed very comfortable in front of the camera. Of course, some seemed more at ease than others, but for the most part, everyone was able to handle speaking in front of a billion people okay.

I often wonder if there are any very successful, or famous, people that struggle with social anxiety disorder - because it seems that anyone that is in the public eye has the ability to speak relatively calmly to an audience. I know a lot of this comes with practice over the years, but even those that have become famous in a short period of time seem to handle themselves quite well.

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Growing up, I always imagined that I’d eventually become successful in life. Back then, I knew nothing about social anxiety. Actually, it’s only been recently that I’ve been able to fully understand why I am the way I am - and that it actually had a name.

Granted, I knew there was something different about me because I always struggled getting along with people. I knew I was shy, but I didn’t think a little “shyness” would eventually lead to the life I have now. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s an interesting theory. If you had told me about this five years ago, I would’ve laughed to myself and dismissed it within a second.

I’ve always been very interested in self-help books. You might even say I’m a little addicted to them. One thing I’ve become very interested in lately is the notion that what you think will become your reality. In other words, if you believe you are inferior to others, that will become your reality, and others will begin to see you in exactly this way.

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I was at a little get-together this weekend with some friends and family. No big deal, just the usual people plus a few I didn’t know. Nothing exciting, we usually have a BBQ, play a little Frisbee, and have a few beer.

Now, I don’t know if it’s me and the fact that I’m beginning to notice different personality types whenever I’m out in public, but it seems that lately there is a lot to watch and take in if you really look for it.

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Today is the start of a long weekend in Ontario. I suppose the government felt the need to give us this bonus vacation to keep us at par with the rest of the country. The official name of the holiday is, “Civic Holiday.” How’s that for originality? Of course, I’m not complaining because I’ll welcome any day off with pay.

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Living with social anxiety is tough, but it could be worse. That’s the realization that I’ve come to at this point in my life. Yes, I sometimes feel cheated and I can’t help but feel a sorry for myself on occasion, but I really think I need to start putting things in perspective. I still have my health (knock on wood), I’m doing okay financially (of course everything is relative), I’m starting to meet more people, I’m making a few friends, and I’m getting out more than I ever have. On top of all that, my anxiety in public places and around strange people is subsiding with each passing month.

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If you suffer from social anxiety, you probably don’t think much of outgoing, confident people – I know I don’t. It depresses me to be around extroverts like this. I always end up making comparisons and beating myself up because I can’t be more like them. I mean, they just seem to be having so much fun!

To be honest, I am probably more jealous than anything. Well, that, and the fact that they make me feel so inadequate.

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If you suffer from moderate to severe social anxiety, the very idea of changing your outward appearance can seem overwhelming. Yet, in my case, I knew that, deep down; I was not helping my cause by appearing so unapproachable. Read the rest of this entry »

“Life is not a one-way street.”

I’ve printed this sentence out and taped it to the wall beside my computer. I read it several times a day, as it reminds me of one of the most important laws of social interaction and happiness. Up until recently, I didn’t really know it even existed. Read the rest of this entry »

As a social anxiety suffer, I tend to be hyper-sensitive when it comes to the feedback I get from other people. Granted, the way I interpret their responses might be a little skewed, but that’s improving.

Because of this acute awareness, I’ve discovered that there is a direct connection between how I feel (and project myself), and the way people respond to me. In other words, if I’m feeling good, I usually get a friendlier response from others. Read the rest of this entry »